god, imagine sharing a bed with the person you love. chatting about dumb things! just sleeping! it’s like a sleepover but every night how sweet is that!!!!
Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house
Peter: thank you, but I can’t
Bartender: why not
Peter:
Bartender:
Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant
Bartender, shook: oh, congratulations, boy or girl?
Peter, now in full-on panic mode: it’s an uh, spider
I’m seeing stuff in the notes about “Miles would do this” and I just want to say: you’re absolutely right. All Spider-folks across all universes share one (1) singular brain cell and most of the time it’s Gwen’s.
As the current author of Spider-Gwen, I can attest that Gwen has not seen the brain cell in years.
Last year, I got invited to a super-deluxe private resort to deliver a keynote speech to what I assumed would be a hundred or so investment bankers.
…
After I arrived, I was ushered into what I thought was the green room. But instead of being wired with a microphone or taken to a stage, I just sat there at a plain round table as my audience was brought to me: five super-wealthy guys — yes, all men — from the upper echelon of the hedge fund world. After a bit of small talk, I realized they had no interest in the information I had prepared about the future of technology.
They had come with questions of their own.They started out innocuously enough. Ethereum or bitcoin? Is quantum computing a real thing? Slowly but surely, however, they edged into their real topics of concern.Which region will be less impacted by the coming climate crisis: New Zealand or Alaska? Is Google really building Ray Kurzweil a home for his brain, and will his consciousness live through the transition, or will it die and be reborn as a whole new one? Finally, the CEO of a brokerage house explained that he had nearly completed building his own underground bunker system and asked, “How do I maintain authority over my security force after the event?”
rich people are fucking terrifying
The Event. That was their euphemism for the environmental collapse, social unrest, nuclear explosion, unstoppable virus, or Mr. Robot hack that takes everything down.
This single question occupied us for the rest of the hour. They knew armed guards would be required to protect their compounds from the angry mobs. But how would they pay the guards once money was worthless? What would stop the guards from choosing their own leader? The billionaires considered using special combination locks on the food supply that only they knew. Or making guards wear disciplinary collars of some kind in return for their survival. Or maybe building robots to serve as guards and workers — if that technology could be developed in time.
This dude basically got paid royalties for a live action beta test where he could work out what would and wouldn’t work for his story. The absolute madman.
fun fact: my parents got married on april fools day so when i was 7 i tried to be funny and i made them an anniversary card that said ‘your marriage is a joke’ and my mom cried
fun fact: my parents got married on april fools day so when i was 7 i tried to be funny and i made them an anniversary card that said ‘your marriage is a joke’ and my mom cried
if you’re planning on using the word “religion,” stop and think to yourself: do i mean Christianity? do i know that what i’m saying is broadly applicable to all, or even most religions? how do i know that? is what i’m saying actively wrong and harmful towards marginalized ethnoreligious groups?
and if you discover that you did, in fact, mean Christianity…..use the word Christianity instead
Why are you so damn obsessed with words lmaoooo
you see, words are often used to communicate ideas and beliefs
i swear to god using this site is like teaching a class of kindergarteners
when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.
then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.
so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.
one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.
my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.
all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol
This took a different direction than I was expecting.
